Last night, I got home from work, got some cookies and a glass of milk and started cleaning out my DVR. I wasn’t home for 30 minutes when my smoke detector beeped (and scared the hell out of me). It does that from time to time, so I didn’t think much of it. Until it did it again. and again. and again. and again. Until it beeped for about 2 hours. The lazy part of me was just hoping it would eventually stop. However, the practical and smart part of me knew that I had a Friends moment on my hands.So I did what any normal, single twenty-something who lives alone would do and I took the the Twit and called my dad. I knew the battery was probably dead, but I was hoping somewhere, someone would give me different information. But, my suspicions were confirmed. It needed a new battery. Does anyone know what kind of battery a smoke detector needs? No? Yeah I didn’t either, but its a 9 volt. Obviously the one that I don’t have just lying around the house.While I love having my own apartment and being single (and I honestly do), there are certain things that would be so much easier or that I would prefer a man do. Hence why having a man friend is a good thing. So I figured I would share some of the things I feel would make my life easier. (also thanks to Brin for some of these suggestions. Or as she put it “the things I make Josh do”)
1. Taking out the trash
I’m pretty sure this is self explanatory. I hate taking out the trash. Mostly because the dumpster is far enough away that I have to drive. Which is why my neighbors have seen me driving my car with a bag of trash ON the trunk. And why they have also seen said bag of trash fall off my car when I go over the speed bump too fast. Life would just be easier with a man friend to take the trash out for me.
2. Killing bugs
Luckily for me, I can kill bugs. Sure I’ve pretended to be scared once or twice to let a former man friend feel needed, but hey, I can squash a bug. However, when I shared my story with the future Mrs. Bride, she said she once called her dad and had him drive the 20 minutes to her house to kill a bug for her.
3. Hanging things on the wall
I’m the worst at this. I’ve literally had empty walls before because I just couldn’t get stuff hung up correctly. Lucky for me, an ex man friend hung up a bunch of stuff in my apartment.
4. Being the first one to walk into a dark apartment.
I try to remember to leave a lamp on while I’m gone and especially if I know I’ll be coming home when it’s dark, but still. I’m one of those who checks behind the shower curtain and in the closets for an intruder. What I’ll do if I ever find one? Hell if I know. I just pray that I have a man friend with me to defend my honor.
5. Taking my car to get the oil changed
I swear by the fact that most mechanics jump for joy when a girl brings her car in alone. Some think it’s their ticket to tell her any and everything needs to be replaced or fixed when all you came in for was an oil change. Plus, isn’t a place like that kinda like a man’s mall?
6. Carrying the groceries inside
Honestly, I don’t care if you’re a man or a woman, but having someone to help carry the groceries up would be phenomenal. I always get groceries on a day when I have other shit to carry too. I refuse to make more than one trip so I usually feel like my limbs are going to rip off. Plus I live on the 3rd floor. It would be nice to have someone help with that awful task.
7. Yard work
So granted I don’t have yard work at my apartment. But one day, I will live somewhere that I do and I will definitely need a man friend. I’m probably really awful at yard work, plus I’m not a fan of being outside and sweating a whole lot and I’ve heard yard work involves a lot of that. One sure fire way to get me pissy, is put me on yard work duty. Just ask my mom.